Wilbur's Woes

December 20, 2005

Poor Wilbur Whitlock.

Oh, sure, the guy is a professional wrestler, a dream come true for many of us. The man gets paid to do what he loves. Doesn't sound like such a bad deal.

But a little over a year ago, Wilbur was on top of his game: he had won the Main Event Title from Shane Sensation and looked unstoppable in a series of bouts against top-notch competitors like Lones Oaks, Justin Diaz, Chiyoda Ropa and Scotty Sabre...

...and then it all fell apart. Now Whitlock has gone from seemingly unbeatable to seemingly unable to win, having dropped matches against Sabre, the far less experienced Christian Vaughn, and now Durty the Clown...

That's right. The former Main Event Champion couldn't get the win over a clown at MEWL's last stop in Alliance.

Now to be fair, Durty did have a hand from his sidekick Psycho, but Wilbur's problems are bigger than that one match. He seems to be on an out-of-control losing streak, and as any professional athlete will tell you, those kinds of scenarios can be a make-or-break for a competitor. With each loss, the individual's confidence declines further, making it harder to go out and win the next time. It's a vicious cycle that can be harder to beat than any flesh-and-blood opponent.

On the other hand, when competitors are able to break such a cycle, the thrill of tasting that long-overdue victory can sometimes spark a renewed sense of purpose, leading them to climb to levels of success they've never before enjoyed.

Or they can fall victim to that cycle, and never climb out of it. It's do-or-die time time for Wilbur Whitlock. Will he ever again be a champion, or has he forgotten how to win, just as he long ago forgot how to shower?

And then there is the other half of this story: a man who calls himself Durty the Clown.

Let me tell you a secret about Durty: he's tough as nails.

Seriously. The man is one tough SOB.

Now I know people tend not to take him seriously because he has more teeth than talent, and he has hardly any teeth.

Sure, he'll never be remembered as a scientific wrestling genius. True, he's at a size disadvantage nearly every time he wrestles. Yes, there are plenty of others who are faster or smarter or stronger or just plain better...

...but I'm not sure that there is anyone out there who is tougher than Durty the Clown.

The thing is he hides it well by covering himself in makeup and cackling like a hyena and pulling on opponents' nipples. He is an entertainer, and he figures the best way for him to make sure people have a good time is to be, well, a clown.

But don't let that fool you. The man can get it done in the ring, and is either too tough or too stupid to give up when it really counts...

...like the time I saw him in the midst of a hardcore brawl at Scores II, a nightclub in Mansfield, OH. Durty took a piledriver on the concrete -- I believe it was Deranged who was on the giving end -- which is a hell of a thing to do when it goes right.

But this time it went wrong. Really wrong. I can still remember the sinking feeling in my gut as I watched the bouncers clear the audience out and set themselves up as a barrier around Durty. I can still see in my mind's eye Lones Oaks and Referee Earl Robinson down on their knees, trying to tell Durty he was going to be OK, asking him if he could move his legs. I can still picture him lying there, motionless.

At first he couldn't move anything. But then there was a slight motion in one finger, and then another, and then his entire left hand. And then his left leg started convulsing, shaking uncontrollably, which was almost as frightening as seeing him unable to move at all.

But Durty closed his eyes tight, opened and closed his hands, and willed his leg to stop moving. Then, with help, he stood up, and walked to the back under his own steam.

He wasn't his usual self when I caught up with him later that night. He was strangely quiet, like a man who had just stared death down and won, which is, I guess, what he was.

"It was just a stinger," he said when I asked if he was OK, waving away my concern. "It was nothing."

Nothing to him, maybe. But that's because Durty the Clown is tough. Real tough.

I'm telling you, that is one hardcore clown.

And in other news, everyone is talking about the WWE's Tim White angle. Was it appropriate? Was it in good taste? Was it a good idea?

Well, here's my two cents: no, it wasn't appropriate, and it wasn't it good taste. Wrestling is sports-entertainment, which means the entertainment part needs to get just as much attention as the sports. So why shouldn't the "E" be allowed to use stories involving suicide if they think it will make for an entertaining show?

I asked myself a similar question when some people got so upset over the infamous Brian-Pillman-gun angle, too. Guns are a regular part of all kinds of entertainment -- movies, TV, rap, video games -- why should they be off limits in wrestling? And I don't think they should be. Nor do I think suicide should be off limits.

On the other hand, when you watch a movie where Brad Pitt kills someone, no one tries to kay fabe you into thinking that victim is actually dead. They allow that person to go on talk shows to promote the film and work in other roles and do appearances.

But visitors on Sunday night to White's bar, The Friendly Tap, were greeted by a sign that read "Closed for a family emergency," and White's website shows this message:

"In the past 24 hours, this website has received over 4000 emails regarding the situation at WWE Armageddon this past Sunday night involving Tim White. We have been vigorously trying to get in contact with Tim. We have not, as of yet, been able to. No one that we have contacted has any information regarding Tim or what happened."

In short, the WWE is trying to make people think Tim White is actually dead or missing or hurt or whatever, and that, to borrow a page from Carlito, isn't cool.

So the story is in bad taste and is inappropriate, but the WWE did do the right thing by pulling the trigger, so to speak, on this tale. After all, we're all talking about it, and we're all going to tune in to see what happens next.

And asses in seats, both in arenas and in homes, are what this business is all about.