Layton's Sept 2 Dismember Remarks

September 28, 2006

So last week I made my long-anticipated return to MEWL after a one month absence.

Notice I didn't say who was anticipating my return; I'd imagine most folks didn't even notice I was gone. In fact, I didn't think anyone at all would miss me, but I sure was wrong. One guy just couldn't wait to see me.

"What's this crap?" Chris Kole demanded, though using a word less polite than crap, the moment I entered the locker room. I took the piece of paper he was waving under my nose from him and skimmed it quickly.

"It's my last column. The one I wrote about you and Shane."

"I know that. I mean what's all this crap about how great Shane is and how it's so great to have him back and all?"

"Well Shane is great," I shrugged. "And it is great to have him back."

"I know that," he sneered. "But the way you guys are always putting him over, it's like who cares that I'm here? I've been with MEWL almost since the beginning, and it's like
I don't even matter."

"I said right here you were a great wrestler," I said, pointing out the spot in my column where I said just that.

"Sure. After a whole page of saying how great Shane was. It really makes me look good." He shook his head with resignation and walked away, leaving me to think how strange it is that even the most successful, cocky wrestlers still crave approval from the fans. That's why they do the insane things they do: for your approval.

By the way, when I mentioned to another worker that I was thinking of putting my little meeting with Chris in my latest Lowdown, he warned me against it.

"The whole thing makes Kole look kind of whiny," he said.

Maybe he's right, but it isn't my job to protect the boys. It's my job to give the fans the lowdown on all things MEWL, no matter who I offend in the process.

Which brings me to Lones Oaks. A lot of folks took me to task after September to
Dismember for my critical assessment of his accomplishments - or lack thereof - over
the last year. I just want to take a moment to explain myself to those Oaks fans. First,
understand that I'm a fan of Lones too. He's a great wrestler and a real treat to watch.
But it's my job to ask the hard questions, not the popular ones. The fact is, though he is
indeed a great wrestler and has been plagued with injuries, he just hasn't gotten the job
done since coming to MEWL.

Who put on weight and lost the MEWL Cruiserweight Title? Lones Oaks. Who failed to
retain his North American Championship in his first defense? Lones Oaks. Who spent a
year in MEWL blowing every shot at a title he received? Lones Oaks. The fact that he is
injured and lost to Sherman Tank last week may not be his fault, but he hasn't stepped it
up when he was healthy, and that is his fault and no one else's.

My front office sources tell me Lones may be getting a shot at Tank at Wicked, MEWL's
Oct. 14 show at the Alliance Armory, provided he can get medical clearance. But what if
he does get the shot? Even if he is medically cleared there is no way he'll
be in top shape - he hasn't been able to train or work out for over a month now - and
there's no way he can beat Tank if he isn't in top shape. Oaks better hope doctors don't
clear him, or that he doesn't get the shot, or he better have the common sense to turn down the shot if he does get it. What he needs right now is to take some time off, rest, train, and come back re-focused and ready to do what he does best: hurt people. What he doesn't need is to rush things and hurt himself further.

It's been a bad year, Lones. Take your time and make the next one better.

Speaking of the next one being better, isn't that the way it is with MEWL? It seems each
show is better than the one before, and I'm sure that will be no exception with Wicked.
Chris Kole and Shane Sensation - both of them great wrestlers - will get a shot at tag
champs B.E.T. I'm no fan of the champions, as those of you who saw September to
Dismember probably know, so I'll put impartiality aside and say I'm pulling for the
challengers in this one. Then there will be a fatal fourway pitting Heavyweight
Champion "The Pure One" Justin Diaz against "Big Guns" Jeff Cannon, "Hot Commodity" Matt Mason and Robby Starr. Finally, there will be a Sinful 7
bout to crown a new Hardcore Champion. Imagine that: seven competitors in a fight
that will be a battle royal, hardcore brawl, and last man standing match all in one. Add
in a few more matches that have yet to be announced and you've got a recipe for a night
full of tricks and treats.

So don't any of you dare miss Wicked - it just wouldn't be the same without you.