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THE REV REVIEWS: Holiday Beatings (12.20.07)

By Reverend Rogue Six

(Disclaimer: The views expressed in the following are purely those of the columnist.)

It is often said, during the holiday season, that it is far better to give then to receive. At MEWL's "Holiday Beatings" in Alliance, there was plenty of giving and receiving...but very little peace on Earth or goodwill to anyone!

Shane Sensation was the evening's surprise package as he made his return to action and proceeded to give the Rootin' Tootin' Buckaroo an unexpected gift -- a pinfall loss. Welcome back, Shane!

A wise man once said "Good things come to those who wait". Jazin Blaze found this to be true, as he got his Christmas gift - a measure of payback on MEWL Cruiserweight Champion Jessicka Havoc and the Evil Amish Warrior, Jebediah -- with the help of none other then Angel Dust in a mixed-tag team match.

I can always count on there being a surprise or two at any MEWL show. When B.E.T. pulled a no-show, having been scheduled to face the team of Lones Oaks and Johnny Gun, the two agreed to have a match against each other. Just before things got underway, down to the ring came Bounce, who had a new client: Durty the Clown! (Insert your own pimp-n-ho joke here.) The singles match now became a 3-way Dance, which Lones scoring a submission win. A tag team match becomes a singles match becomes a 3-way Dance...this is why I love MEWL shows; they're like Christmas presents -- you never know what you're going to get!

MEWL Heavyweight Champion Chris Kole must surely have been lacking in the Christmas spirit when he tossed the Ninietendo Wii that was to be given away this night out of the ring (wow, he must be a Playstation man...) This was a prelude to his return match with Robby Starr, which Kole won with a handful of tights. (Guess we know what Chris will be getting in his stocking, eh?)

The Main Event of the night was the culmination of one of the most potent feuds in MEWL this year; Justin Diaz put his own career on the line to get North American Champion Wilbur Whitlock in a no-DQ title match.

What should have been Diaz's night of revenge and redemption went south faster then the swallows to Capistrano when referee Logan "Say it loud, I'm a Tool and I'm Proud" Scott made what had to be the world's quickest 3-count on Diaz (who was already up by the count of two!) and gave the win to Wilbur!

Say it with me now: "WHAT THE HELL?"

If that wasn't bad enough, the crowd was even more shocked to see Wilbur produce an envelope of money and hand it over to Logan -- a payoff! Now, I've seen some despicable acts in my time, acts that would boggle your mind and defy description, but this blatant act of abject cowardice on Wilbur's part -- this left me speechless (which is not an easy thing to do, but congratulations, Wilbur and Logan, you managed to do it!).

Good night, Rainbow Warrior. You did not deserve this fate.

In other matches: Supa Lucha defeated Jason Cain...Tank defeated Christian Vaughn.

Like I said, this is why MEWL shows are special -- you never know what will happen.

On that note, allow me to take a moment to wish you and yours a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

I'm the Reverend Rogue Six, and I'll see you in 2008!